Now You See It, Now You Don't
by dumbest of four
Summary: I know you'll be the sun in somebody else's sky, but why oh why can't it be mine?- the Rating is for semi-sexual contact and for later chapters, summary inside, read if you will. on hiatus sorry.


**Hello There! **

**This is my first KnM Fic so I hope you enjoy it. **

**Summary: Himeko is getting hitched to Souma Oogami, Will Chikane manage to express her feelings that had been hidden since High-school years? read 'n' find out**

**The beginning of the fic is a bit gloomy but it gets comical mid-way and throughout the end. **

**Inspirations: The song 'Black' Pearl Jam, The Song 'Now you See it' by Ozzy Osbourne, my personal life.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Anime series nor the characters of it it all belongs to the rightful owner.  
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**Now You See It, Now You Don't**

I wonder if I try too hard to make you notice, I wonder if all those times I spent waiting for you on the lone bench out on the bitter climate were worth something in the end.

After all my feet had dragged me to the same place they once stood, the first time we met…

It was a new beginning, well at least that's what I had in mind; no more lies, no more hiding, just try to recreate my dismantled self and hopefully diminish the blasphemous feelings and instinct I thought were natural.

But…

Before me you passed laughing, the elated laugh that left the tunnel of my ears humming with a joyous melody, my brain cells had ceased to function, everything in my body stood solid and my self-control had left me long ago.

After what seemed like a day but it was only a second, I smiled… the first genuine smile in years.

Although I did not know your name or who you were and who were your friends, I had this deep need to make you a part of my life, wither it was a big role or the contrary, I did not care… I just wanted you.

If someone would have heard my thoughts, they would've chuckled it off saying 'young love these days' but this is not a crush, they don't know… because they can't feel, they're my feelings and no one can judge my feelings because they're mine!

It was high-school years, teenage years… I had never felt my age, perhaps I prevented myself to feel like my age, because I had to mature quickly to understand matters that not many would come to realize in this certain age.

To understand feelings to be precise and I think when I matured, my feelings matured with me.

I expect too much out of the both of us, but when you never comply I blame myself to both of our expense, remember those times when I seemed as if I was in my own world, giving a vibe of animosity and solitude?

When you hadn't dared invade my privacy? Those times are when I needed you most.

You may seem quite naïve and carefree to some people, but I know what was suppressed inside… I know you were locked in your own personal cage which you never dared to come out from.

Maybe it was fear, maybe it was ignorance… the reasons are many but never clear, despite all those flaws you remained my desired one, you remained carved in my heart and my mind, every day, every night.

You were kind, you were genuine, no one risked to talk badly about you… because you were just too considerate, too much of an angel, to calm the fury of a demon like me.

And when a four walled room brought us together for a few years, they were the best years I ever lived; it flew away but came back to haunt my thoughts frequently.

And when I think about it now, back then I swore I felt happier than now… than ever.

But the years took their toll on us; we grew up to be friends… those types of friends that would keep secrets from each other afraid that the other would just leave everything they managed to build.

I fought for this friendship, it was hard maintaining it… friends usually talk to each other, when we are together the silence deafens us, I'm amazed as to how you fared to put up with me,

I never chose my friendships, it is my friends who stick by me and my true friends are few, but chasing you was the most frustrating and most heartbreaking thing I tried to do subtly.

Perhaps it was the truth that I didn't want to be your friend to begin with; I wanted more, so much more.

I'm surprised that you hadn't guessed it out yet; we're so different from each other, our tastes, our likes, our personalities, they clash more than they unite.

But I think our difference is what drove me to love you, to love all the things I'm not, 'cause I truly hated myself and everything I'm known for.

Now my new self stands by the small town church while watching children at play, I can feel their laughter but I only sear.

Family and acquaintances hurry their selves in preparing for this eventful noon, and I stand here by pond wondering what had gone wrong.

It was supposed to be your happiest day, and friends in tradition should feel the same for you, but me a type of friend who jealousy and hatred has been seeping from the minute I saw him with you, touching you, kissing you, embracing you.

I doubt that this should be my happiest day.

"Himemiya-Sama!" An old man now the priest had become, it seems like he shrunk a two good centimeters.

"Ah Ōgami Kazuki-San, it feels like ages" I smile my famous smile and bow to the priest in means of being only polite.

"It's been ages, the grey hair should have been an enough hint" he chuckles as I gave him an incredulous glare.

"Ōgami-San, you know it's not easy being a Himemiya heiress… there is a lot to uphold" I spent most of my time traveling, mostly business… mostly just trying to forget you and move on, but it never works I always come crawling back.

"Oh yes indeed, but I heard that you're staying permanently this time and you got a position as the principle of the Ototachibana Academy, Aren't you too young though?"

"I really didn't know what I wanted to do in my life, truthfully because they made me enroll in everything they could ever think of, but when they offered me this position I could not refuse, Mahoroba is my hometown after all" We were walking in the church's garden were everyone was running frantic trying to make no mistake, but I could have cared less.

"You have a good heart child, Mahoroba is surely proud of you and all your achievements, and there this little shy bird who keeps reminding us of you and how wonderful you are, Himeko talks about you quite a lot whenever she gets the chance to brag about her best friend…" the old man kept on rambling, but I had not continued listening because I felt my heart rage against my chest for a moment there, beats fighting to burst out and to be heard, you talk about me? Do you consider me your… best friend?

"Child! Himemiya-Sama!"

"…YES! My apologies Ōgami-San, my mind has suddenly wandered off, what is it?"

"It's time, let us go inside before the ceremony starts, aren't you supposed to be a bridesmaid or something of that sort?"

"Oh no, Saotome-san is much more suitable in that area than me, I'm no expert in these matters." I would've considered death before I actually permitted myself to do what the old man had suggested.

"Or perhaps is the fact that you'd have to wear a dress is that it?" he remarked jestingly.

"That's not true; you know that I have worn gowns and dresses before…" I mocked offense and he caught it quickly and started laughing.

"Yes, but now you're much more mature than before, you started wearing business suits and whatnot"

"I quite like my outfits; I prefer them on most things really."

"I would love to stay and talk about clothes child, but I'm afraid if I don't go in anytime soon the ceremony would never begin considering I'm the priest." Oh you have no idea how I wanted to keep that old man outside as long as I could, just to keep this day from going any further.

"That's alright, you can go now… I think I'll stay here for a bit" I utter soundly.

"If it's okay with you Child, I'll head on, oh and take care of yourself… this life isn't easy and responsibilities may sometimes drive us away from what's really important."

"And what is that?" I asked half knowing the answer.

"Love my Child, that's what it really goes down to."

"Ōgami-Sama! Souma needs to speak with you urgently… oh Himemiya-Sama, how are you?" A messy brown-haired man came towards us I was only familiar with him because he was the old man's assistant and your fiancé's best man.

"Ah Yukihito, long time no see." I bowed and he returned the gesture but soon he grabbed the old man's arm and dragged him in rumbling apologies as he went, I could only smile on the comical scene.

Within five minutes of standing in the garden alone, I somehow managed to wander off to a back door away from the commotion of people and music, just the sound of wind rustling through the thick trees.

I opened the door just to crack, I stepped into a semi wide room that contained wedding supplies and whatnot and I turned my head and the sight took both of my breath and my sense and threw them away.

You were there in front of me, I could not see your face because your slim back was facing me, I wanted to cry but at the same time I wanted to run towards you, wrap you in my arms and express the words of longing that had been roaming in my mind for years now.

Your golden mane had been shortened to reach barely over your mid back, but it was as beautiful as ever, you were wearing a white dress that taunted me to scan your whole lilaceous body with my eager eyes, it only made you look like the angel I always thought you were.

"Mako-Chan? Did you see her? Did she make it yet? She promised that she'd be here by now!" You declared not even thinking to glimpse behind, I smirked knowing full well who you were talking of.

"Well, Did I fulfill my promise?" And in a snapping speed, you turned around startled; you were expecting a different kind of voice.

"…Chikane-Chan?" tears formed in your eyes, you were always emotional when I depart or return from my traveling, you'd think I'd gotten used to it by now but every time I see your tears this nagging feeling of anguish washes over me making me want to kiss them away and reassure you that everything will be alright, that I'll destroy the cause of your sorrow.

But the chances of me comforting you are few, most of the times I cease to protect you and I stand helpless watching others do my supposed job for me.

You hurl towards me, tears still storming in your orbs and fling yourself at me, in time for me to catch you and wrap you in my hold as warmly as I could muster.

I wouldn't know any greater feeling.

"Chikane-Chan you made it!" you sob softly while muttering, you lift your gaze to my own and it was the first time in a long time that I got to stare into those amethysts, that take my breath away, or those full lips that followed me to bed, your face was pale yet your sunny manner never left even while you're crying.

"Shh, it's okay I'm here… You shouldn't cry you'll ruin the makeup" You chuckled lightly at my attempt in lightning the mood.

We part painfully so, to me at least it is… if it was up to me I would never have let go.

"Chikane-Chan you were supposed to arrive yesterday in time for my party, but you didn't!" you scold me with a threatening finger raised up, I know that you're as harmless as a puppy, but being confronted by you may have different effects on me, the positive kind.

"The flight was delayed Himeko, you know stormy weather and all." It's been a while since I tested your name on my lips, I think about the name but saying it directly to you, is another form of bliss. "You're the only person I know that had planned their wedding in October."

"I wanted it to be special, after all it's our birthday today!" yes something rare and very special probably one of the few things we have in common. "And who knows where you are heading next so I wanted to celebrate an important day with you Chikane-Chan."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore" I grin as I see the hopeful shimmer that crossed your face waiting for me to continue "I'm staying permanently."

"Really? Chikane-Chan I'm so happy!" You squeal and you hug me again, your body shaking enthusiastically, I only chuckle quietly combined with a soft sigh as I'm savoring the feel of your skin on mine. "I missed you…" you whisper.

Your shaking stopped and you ease in my embrace, resting your head on my shoulder and shutting your eyes, but compared to you my body was tensed not only did I have you too close for comfort, having you expressing this much affection to me can have groundbreaking impact on me and my poor heart.

Misleading me, you always do it.

"… I missed you too" you have no idea how much "oh and happy birthday." You giggle softly and tighten your hold on my upper arms.

But a knock on the front door startles us both and the voice of Makoto Saotome rings both of our ears, "Himeko why is this door locked? Oh and by the way I haven't seen your precious friend Miya-Sama yet, but I'm sure she'll be here soon, so hurry your butt up!"

I smirk at the blushing mess that is you in front of me, "Mou Chikane-Chan it's not funny!" but that only fueled my amusement and the smile turned into a fit of chuckles soon enough you got over the embarrassment and joined me.

"So Chikane-Chan if you're going to stay here you'll need a job, after all travelling was kind of your job before" you said turning your body to check yourself in the mirror, my eyes never left your movement, your gaze swings from your reflection to mine behind you.

"Well, they offered me the principle's position in Ototachibana 'cause the last principle had formerly retired."

"Our old high-school? That's interesting wonder what the students would think of a young principle and not to mention a Himemiya?" you wondered out loud.

"Hey now I'm in my mid-twenties." I tried to defend myself but the answer I've given may have worked against me.

"Exactly my point." You giggled at the hopeless look I gave you.

"Speaking of being young, About this whole thing…" I had to ask you, I just had to.

"About what thing?" you turned to me after ruffling your hair a bit, oblivious to my sudden nerve-attack.

"About the wedding Himeko, Marrying Souma that is… do you really think it's the best thing you could do right now?" the look you gave immediately made me regret even opening my mouth and asking such a foolish question.

"Well, I… Chikane-Chan I can't just back out of this now" yes you can! "I mean this was bound to happen one way or the other, I mean it's only to be expected, Souma and I, we had been going out since forever."

"You haven't even finished college yet, Himeko… and let's predict you get married you'll have children and you'll never have time to become a professional photographer like you always wanted to be!" my anger had been slowly flowing out of me, I wasn't mad at you, I was mad about myself for not saying anything sooner. "Everything has it's time, and I just don't think it's your time yet."

"What's the meaning of this? Why are you telling me this now of all days?" confusion was written all over your face, I could see clearly.

"Well… I-I" the stuttering had begun, I couldn't tell you of my true intentions, tell you about how jealous and agonized I was I about this.

"Are you Jealous?"

"W-what?" I gasp and my eyes go wide, did you finally realize my feelings? Have you finally figured it out?

"About Souma… I always thought that Souma liked you, but when he confessed to me I was shocked, do you have feelings for Souma?" WHAT! Oh holy mercy, spare me this…

"What? No hell no… even if he was the last person on earth I wouldn't have considered him, what's gotten into you, Himeko? Suggesting such ridiculous claims"

"I'm sorry Chikane-Chan, I didn't know what was I thinking, I know you are only looking out for me." You cast your head down with slumped shoulders, embarrassed and ashamed.

I couldn't help but have a vision of a desperate puppy betraying his master, I took a few steps towards you and I lift your chin with my fingertips leveling our gazes.

"It's alright, Himeko… I understand you're only nervous and I'm sorry for pushing this subject on you so inappropriately, please do forgive me Himeko" I tell you with pleading eyes, you stare at me for a moment and the fingertips that were holding you chin were now caressing your crimson cheek softly.

We're standing inches apart and staring into each other's eyes, usually I tend to avoid these situations, fearing the worse. But now I find myself uncaring of the circumstances.

"Um Himeko…"

"hmm?"

"I know I haven't been much of a friend lately… But I'm going to make it up to yo-"

And before I could get a proper word in I was caught off by the most amazing senses of all, the touch of your cherry lips, I blinked twice just to reassure myself that I was not in fact dreaming or even daydreaming.

The kiss was hesitant but your pace was passionately quick as if you're stealing little kisses from my mouth, I couldn't properly return it because as soon as ten seconds were in you pulled away and gasped as if you just realized what you did.

You back away and I feel like my world is crumbling around me with every step you back out, you make a run to the bathroom and you close the door.

I stand there wondering what just happened, did you just kiss me? You?

I hurry to the door and I knock on it softly "Himeko, please come out" **(A/N: no pun intended)**

"We can talk about this, it's not a big deal… we can forget it ever happened! Please don't take it seriously." I was panicking, my friendship with you was definitely coming to an end, and everything I fought for has gone to naught.

I hear sobbing and that didn't help my heart to be at peace. I lean my head on the door desperately wanting to bang my head against it until I fall unconscious.

"Please Himeko it shouldn't mean anything…" I whisper pleadingly.

"But it does." I hear a little mutter but I'm not sure I heard right.

"…what?" and before I can register the door opens by a red teary eyed beauty.

"It does mean something, I don't know what it is… but I've never felt like this before with Souma or anyone else."

I stand there numbed from lack of breathing at the moment and lack of proper thinking, this was too over-whelming.

"I always felt something when I'm around you I try to make sense of it but it'll always leave me confused and slightly frustrated." You move forward and I step backwards, I was not afraid of you but the intensity of your contemplation was making me feel trapped. "I-I thought I admired you and I wanted to be like you, but that thought never crossed my mind being like you that is… because to me being like you, is like asking to be like a Goddess."

Are my ears hearing right or are they deceiving me? What is this some kind of cruel joke? There's no way you have feelings for me, you're confused, you're scared… you're just being kind like your usual self, you're always so considerate of my feelings.

And without my notice a tear descends down my cheek, and you watch it carefully. "Stop it Himeko! Stop being kind-hearted! You don't have to fix everything okay, you can hate me if you want to don't pretend otherwise just to make me feel good!" and a tear became too many; I cover my face with both palms, not believing how stupidly I'm being right now.

"I-I loved you since I first saw you, the first day of high-school, since then I've been loving you endlessly, every part of you I adore and cherish, I only traveled the world in hopes of getting rid of this improper feelings but wherever I go, it's pointless because you're not there and there's no one to replace you, no one Himeko…" I fall into a pit of silence afraid that I ran my mouth off a bit I'm not sure what did I say.

I finally find the courage to meet your eyes only to see an unreadable expression, and without any warning you step towards me taking me into your arms, like I did it to you so many times before, in all honesty to be on the receiving end of it, it feels grand.

"You know for a person who observes a lot, you're quite oblivious…" You say and I continue to listen without any remarks "I'm the one who kissed you Chikane-Chan and I didn't plan it, it was on a whim, b-but that doesn't mean I regret it either." You blush faintly; I stood up from my crouching position; because I was taller than you, so your gaze lifted up as well.

You rested your arms against my chest and your palms grasping my shoulders, I gently wrap my arms around your waist and push you a little closer to me.

"You still wear that white headband I brought you…" you said smiling referring to the headband that was holding my raven locks in place.

"I love it, I love you…" I whispered into your ear and I sense your shiver, you close your eyes tightly and part your lips briefly. "I want to kiss you… can I?" my eyes narrow as you paused but nodded faintly afterward.

And soon enough my lips collide with yours exposing the years of hunger and longing exploding between them, your kisses were quick and shy but I try to lean in and relish in the feeling as much as I can, my hands roam all over your upper body from your shoulder blades to the small of your back to your slim abdomen.

Your shaken hands were running up and down my chest and up again to my neck and then entangling with my hair driving me deeper into the heart wrenching kiss.

My palm somehow found its way down to the edge of your back, pressed on a sudden spot that made you form the most addicting sounds I've ever heard.

"Aah! Chika-mhm" I used this opportunity to slip my tongue inside savoring the taste of you, oh heavenly taste it was… something my creative imagination would never manage to generate.

I was delightfully shocked when your small tongue met mine half way, caressing mine in the most gentle way possible that would have melted me to be a puddle of liquid.

We move step by step, towards the couch nearby unconsciously, until my feet hit the edge of it which made me stumble and fall backwards, landing softly on the material with you hovering over me.

You pull apart from my lips and your lips start their journey from my still hungry mouth to my jaw line planting quick but gentle kisses that left a hot trail on my skin, you travel up to my ear and you nibble on my earlobe softly making me squirm and moan, I would have never expect that you'd be doing this to me, I never imagined this side of you.

You giggle seductively into my ear and blow a fit of air into it, my eyes widen with every action, your head is lowered down into the crook of my neck and you take your first lick before you suck on the said place until a crimson mark is visible.

You smirk uncharacteristically and I wonder if it's the same Himeko I grew up to know, it's just proves that there are many sides of Himeko I still have to learn of.

I make no objection when you attempt at unbuttoning my white dress-up shirt while still working your toe-curling magic on my neck, you fumble with the buttons so you just end up ripping away the last few ones.

I loved that shirt.

But I make no sound other than the sound of pure enjoyment, I'm blinded by the pleasure of the moment, I cannot even form a decent thought in my head.

Everything is blurry and my whole body is shivering from these arousing activities you're testing on me, and imagine my astonishment when I sense a wet trail of things moving along the valley between my bra-covered breasts.

My breath hitches and I only accomplish a naughty sound that descended from my mouth into my beauty's ears, which only fueled your motivation.

You moved to unclasp the front hook of my bra, with your dress skirt riding up and I could feel your creamy legs on both sides of my exposed waist, this sensation does wondrous things to the lower part of my body.

But before either of us can make a second move a knock on the door could be heard…

"Honey, Are you in there? We were worried you're supposed to come out fifteen minutes ago" The voice of your damned fiancé reaches both us, and immediately kills the mood, but then we remember that it's your wedding day and we were about to get it on inside of a church…

Oh shi-

**TBC**

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**So what do you think? R&R please! ^_^ **

**Sincerely, Lucifer. **


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